YOU’RE NOT HERE BY ACCIDENT
You probably already know
something’s off…
Something led you here. And some part of you has a question it might not have asked out loud yet…
That part is worth listening to.
Am I a narcissist?
SOUND FAMILIAR?
You might be a narcissist if…
You're (rightly) corrected in front of someone and you're furious about it for the rest of the day
Your colleague gets celebrated for something minor (ok, it was really a good idea) and you're annoyed about it three weeks later
Your adult child tries setting a (reasonable) boundary with you, and you explain why that's not going to work for you
You're at a dinner party to celebrate your partner landing her dream job and by dessert you've somehow covered the highlights of your own career
More generally, we’re talking:
needing to be right,
an inability to tolerate criticism,
needing to look good in front of others,
generally prioritizing your own needs without always noticing how it affects someone else.
If you're feeling a flicker of recognition, it's worth reading on, because you could be treading in narcissistic waters.
That said, this book (and this website) aren't diagnostic tools. You'll need a trained professional for that.
This book is for people who have enough self-awareness to consider that they're at least a little bit the problem, more often than they'd like to admit, and most likely in ways they don't see clearly.
WHAT IT’S ACTUALLY COSTING YOU
Narcissism can blow up your life in many ways.
It can happen quickly, or it can be more of a slow burn. So gradual that you don't even notice it's happening. Someone sounds less excited to hear from you. Friends that invite you out less. The time between calls or visits stretching from weeks to months to ... never.
And the damage isn't just personal.
It doesn’t have to go that way.
Your Career
Nobody does their best work for someone they dread. And if your name keeps coming up in exit interviews, that becomes a real you problem.
Your Finances
The logistics of a torched relationship are expensive. Divorce, lost income, starting over. Easier said than done.
Your Health
Social isolation is genuinely bad for you. Like, life-shorteningly bad. The research on this is painfully clear.
OH HI, YOU’RE STILL HERE. THAT’S A GOOD THING. ONWARD…
Most books about narcissism are written for the people around you.
And they’re usually full of advice about how to manage you, survive you, or… straight-up leave you. (Boo to all of that.) But this book was written for you.
It's not going to tell you you're broken, unsalvageable, or that the people in your life are right about everything. It will be straight with you (because you can handle it). It’ll show you what's probably happening to make your life harder than necessary, why, and what you can actually do about it.
And, for what it's worth, it’s kind of funny. You might even enjoy it.
FROM THE BOOK:
Nobody is asking you to sit through a stair-by-stair account of someone's daily step count while radiating fascination. Healthy interest in other people doesn't mean infinite tolerance for genuinely tedious content delivered via monologue.
Energy vampires walk among us and recognizing that is just good self-preservation.
The narcissism question isn't: “Am I entertained by everything everyone says?”
It's: “Am I capable of being interested in someone else's experience when it matters?” Those are very different bars.
HERE’S WHAT’S PROBABLY GOING ON
So…You’ve got a particular kind of blind spot, and it’s not entirely your fault.
And that blind spot is how other people experience you. But you’re not the one who put it there. The research is pretty clear that narcissistic traits come from a mix of genetics, how you were raised, and what got reinforced over time. You didn't exactly choose it.
But being caught in the orbit of a narcissist can be … well … draining. Maybe you've noticed people pulling away. That relationships that started well have gotten complicated or have just sort of evaporated. People get tired, then they make like a banana and split.
The good news: this isn't just a book about consequences. It's a book about options. There's a difference. And you still have time to make things go differently.
What the book covers
-
Your Colleagues
Why the people who work with you are quietly working around you instead, and what that's costing you.
-
Your Friends
There's a difference between being interesting and being interested. One of them keeps friends.
-
Your Partner
The beginning is usually great. But what happens after the novelty wears off? And how much damage follows?
-
Your Kids
Once they're grown, their choice to be in a relationship with you is exactly that: their choice.
-
The Rage
Narcissistic rage isn't regular anger. It moves quick, does real damage, and can be interrupted. Find out how.
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Also Includes...
A quiz. A FAQ. A surprisingly sympathetic retelling of the Narcissus myth. And one central tool.
SO, CAN NARCISSISTS CHANGE?
It’s more hopeful than you might expect
The catch is that it requires you actually wanting to change. Not just wanting the discomfort to stop, but being willing to look at your own behavior and what it does to the people around you. Going through the motions won’t get you anywhere. But if you believe something needs to change (okay, specifically you), and are willing to put in the work, it can.
It’s not going to be super easy, but you’re smart. You’re capable. Right?
Most books about narcissism are written for the people who have to deal with one. This one is written for the narcissist.
It's for people who are a little bit the problem… more often than they'd like to admit, in ways they don't always see clearly. It's warm-but-direct, research-backed, and, for what it's worth, kind of funny.
What you'll get: a clear-eyed look at how narcissistic behavior costs you the things you actually want:
your relationships
your career
your health
And it shares a simple tool to start changing that. No personality transplant required.
The ebook is provided as an “EPUB” file. This file type can be opened by ebook readers, including Books (Apple), Kobo, Google Play, Nook, Calibre, Sumatra, Adobe Digital Editions, etc.
Most books about narcissism are written for the people who have to deal with one. This one is written for the narcissist.
It's for people who are a little bit the problem… more often than they'd like to admit, in ways they don't always see clearly. It's warm-but-direct, research-backed, and, for what it's worth, kind of funny.
What you'll get: a clear-eyed look at how narcissistic behavior costs you the things you actually want:
your relationships
your career
your health
And it shares a simple tool to start changing that. No personality transplant required.
The ebook is provided as an “EPUB” file. This file type can be opened by ebook readers, including Books (Apple), Kobo, Google Play, Nook, Calibre, Sumatra, Adobe Digital Editions, etc.